I'll Have the Loaf, Thank You Very Much

... Instead of the crumbs left behind in Patriarchy

Last year I was arrived in Poland for a training after breaking up with the ‘love of my life’, distraught, lost and looking for someone or something to fix me and take away the unbearable
grief I was feeling.

What I got instead was a space where I could delve into it and just feel it and feel it and feel it.

It seemed like I would never get to the other side of it, but it was too big to numb and I just knew that the only way out was through.

This led to a year of intensive inner transformation, I was at two women of earth labs and I spent 4 months in the Women Of Earth Bridge-House in Brasil, a live-in temporary community with only women held in the context of Radical Responsibility.

I left the Patriarchy and had the experience of living in Archiarchy. After that nothing could be the same. Ever. There can be no going back now I have experienced what else is possible.

Living with 5-12 other Women in the context of Archiarchy there was no space for hiding. In the fiercely loving cocoon we held together I was courageous enough to expose my inner world and own it. The women were unreasonably on my team to show me my blind spots so I could finally take responsibility, piece by piece, for every part of what I created in the relationship with my ex-partner. I started to really identify what had been going on and how I created it.

I realised that triggering this wound and wallowing in it was a familiar and comforting albeit painful detour from my path that I have been taking for 22 years now to disempower myself and give away my energy so as not to take responsibility for being as big as I am and do what I am here to do.

Being empowered by the Women and with all this clarity and space I was able to see these Survival Strategies and start working through my emotional blocks to pull my energy back to myself again and my life has changed completely.

It is about empowering other women because there is nothing more joyful than to see them grow and radiate, about making myself light and movable enough so E.C.C.O can carry on moving me where I need to go and about tapping into Archetypal Forces to create what wants to come through me.

Being with the WOEBH Women allowed me to do this and in doing so I also healed the wounds I had about women: the competition, comparison, and separation.

Over these months I really fell in love with Women, I marvelled in how loving and sensitive and alive and intuitive we are, how much fun and intimacy is possible in being with each other.

My favourite discovery was to have the experience of being with others who were such a Yes for me! A Yes for my evolution, my being, and my aliveness. It didn't matter what proposal I brought to the Women in the Bridge-House: to explore, to experiment, to play, to process, to adventure; their response was invariably a five-Body Yes! with real attention, presence, and enthusiasm.

I used to have a list of all the things I wanted in a man and on the last day of the Bridge-House I told the women:

—"I'm ripping the list up."

—"I now have one non-negotiable to relate with a man again which is that he is as much as a Yes for me as each one of you are."

Because it is such a treat to be ongoingly delighted in and received with such a Yes for themselves and for me. It is an incubator for my being to grow and unfold.

The women empowered me to set my bar as high as it is and not accept crumbs when I want the loaf. And I am a stand for each and every woman to do the same, not just with men they are relating with, but with every aspect of their lives.

Because what if we set the bar high for Gaia too? After all we are Gaia.

What if we simply are not available to be belittled, ignored, exploited, used, abused, or taken for granted?

Imagine what the world would look like if we took nothing less than the loaf?

Now that’s a journey I want to embark with you on…